Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Date Day

My handsome hubby
Isn't my hubby handsome? We went to Dunham's yesterday and he had to try on this balaclava and then put on his sunglasses.  I laughed so hard and then said that needs to go on the blog.  

So that handsome guy (trust me!  He is handsome with a capital H) and I have been a bit off lately.  You know what I mean?  When your marriage isn't bad, you aren't fighting but you aren't exactly on the same page.  He has been stressed about work and working like a dog.  Bless his heart he tries really hard not to bring work home but his mind never turns off so he will constantly be thinking of a project or something said at work. It's just who he is.  He is passionate about what he does and he wants to be the best at it!  Well his long hours at work translate into long hours for me.  As a stay at home mommy, that means basically being alone a lot or on my own with the kids.  It's part of my job as a wife to support him and as a mom to take care of the kids, but man does my job get easier when he is here to help.  So anyways lots of stress from both our ends, busy schedules for both of us (and the kids), and just not taking time in the evening to spend together equals a funk in our marriage (and not the good kind!).   Well, we spend time together in the evening but it's in front of the tv completely vegging out.  Neither of us says anything and one of us is asleep by 9:30. It rough when your marriage isn't just quite right.  Like I said we weren't fighting but we weren't exactly loving towards each other.  What we NEEDED was time together.  Actual QUALITY time together.  Enter the day date!  We have a tradition of going Christmas shopping together each year.  We go out and buy almost everything in one shot.  The last couple of years we have gone at night and we make it a date.  But this year Mr. J happened to have some extra vacation time so he took yesterday off and we went on a day date to do our annual Christmas shopping trip. 

The day started a little rocky as he & his dad went hunting in the morning.  Not something I had planned but it wasn't a big deal.  So I dropped Miss V off at school at 9, dropped some teachers gifts off to the boys' school, dropped a letter in the mail and came home to wait for Mr J.  My mom was kind enough to pick Miss V up at school and get the boys off the bus so we basically had ALL day to spend together.  Mr. J got home frozen to the core (it was a freezing -9 wind chill) and got ready for us to go. 

Our first stop was Target!  One of my all time favorite stores.  I could (and have) spent hours in Target.  I get good ideas for outfits and decorating ideas for our home.  They have great Christmas decor and ours even has some groceries.  But yesterday we were on a mission for toys! We hit up the toy aisles and got quite a bit for the kids.  Then we headed to the Christmas section to pick out wrapping paper.  Now this may seem like an easy task.  Pick out a few rolls and go.  NOPE!  Not us!  We like our paper to match or go together.  So it was a 20 min conversation about colors and which paper we liked and how he wanted the kind with the grid lines on the back and I liked the ones with gold pine cones on the front.  So after we bought a few more things at Target we headed to Dunham's to waste time shop before lunch.  While at Dunham's this happened . . . 

Fake Fur hat
Don't I look so cute?! We had a great lunch and a great rest of the day shopping.  Just in case you want to know after lunch we hit up Best Buy & Walmart!  But the best part was getting to spend some actual time with Mr. J.  We didn't talk about anything major.  We didn't have anything particular to talk about other than what to get a few people for Christmas.  But what we did was even more important.  We invested in our marriage & made each other feel like we were important.  I think some times in the hustle and bustle of not only this season but our day to day lives we lose sight of what is important.  We get so caught up trying to be everything to everyone or be someone we aren't, that we forget to make sure those around us know how important they are.  I'm very guilty of this.  Mr. J works hard and when he comes home I want to complain about the kids, the family, or really anything and everything.  I forget to tell him I love him.  I forget to tell him THANK YOU for working so hard so that I don't have to.  I forget to show him that I love him. It seems like marriages all around us are suffering right now.  I know of so many divorces or infidelity issues.  It just hurts my heart.  I can't help but think that if we took more time for our spouses that this may be different.  The list of importance should go God first, then husband/wife, then kids, job, etc.  So many times we put self first and we rob ourselves (and those around us) of time & love because we are selfish.  Marriage isn't about being happy, it's about loving the other person FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.  We all have days we aren't happy in our marriage.  But I think if we look, we will find that we aren't focusing on what is important.  I challenge everyone reading to schedule a date day/night with your spouse right now.  Call, text, email, or facebook them.  Tell them to check their calendar that you need a date ASAP!  One without the kids, one without playing on your phone (turn it on silent and stay off of fb and email), and one that you can really talk to each other and remember why you love that person.  Talk about your first date, or your wedding, or what you love about that person.  But try to really enjoy your time together. Your marriage IS important and should be a priority.  Let's all strive to keep our marriages strong through the month of December and all through 2014! 

Love, Lacey